Behold he makes all things new...even me!

  I just read a friends post on facebook about how God makes all things new, and I thought about how true that is!  It has been a long time since I have "blogged" about anything that has been going on in my life. So I thought I would start out "fresh" and talk a little bit on here.  


  God definitely has been making things new, maybe some times not as fast as I would like but he is working!  There are some areas of my life that I cling to selfishly yet, thinking I can do it on my own...but I should know better.  You know that feeling you get when you feel like you are gonna fall, or when you drop something and you think it's going to break?  That panic sorta sock in the gut feeling?  Thats the feeling I get when I think of my life being different than what it is now...I SAY I want God to change me but do I really mean it?  I mean, one way or the other he is gonna change me, whether I help him or not right?  I think we ( meaning me) tend to utter the words.."Lord change me, make me new"  but with our minds we are saying  "  No, please leave me in the comfortable spot I am in!"  Our minds and hearts cling like seran wrap to the comfortability of life, and we don't want to change!  


  Change is coming though, my husband and I will be moving at the beginning of January..what a way to start out the new year huh?  This is a blessing, and will truly benefit and help us...in the long run. Right now, we are saying ughhhh...we hate moving.  Through this though, God is steering us and guiding us in the direction he wants us to go....we kind of just follow along.  There is so much God has done, and there is SO much he has done to change me, and I don't want to get "stuck" in a rut of stubbornness and not be willing to change anymore....when God speaks we need to listen and rely on Him only...for who else can help us but him?  


So, pray for me that I may be truly willing to completely change for the good of Gods kingdom.....this journey of life is such a rollercoaster sometimes....:) 

CHOCOLATE IS MY COMFORT AND DELIVERER

  I have started reading a new devotional, this combined with another devotional I am reading is really starting to bring things to light.  The main thing I need to remember that I can NOT do this on my own and I can't rely on myself to do it....The goal is NOT weight loss or looking better for selfish gain.  The goal is to live for Jesus, to show him I love him by loving myself...I am now on Day 4 of the devotional...will keep you updated as time goes on....

"THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  Eating in its proper context is not the problem.  God gave us food for nourishment, strength, and even celebration.  But when pleasure becomes unrestrained, there's a problem.

  God made you wonderful. Psalm 139 says you are wonderfully and fearfully made.  You are beautiful and loved, no matter if you're a size 0 or 30.  You are beautiful just the way you are.  But God loves you so much that he doesn't want you to stay in a place of defeat.

  There was a time when I felt utterly defeated in the area of food and health.  I knew that I need to make changes not because of the number on the scale or what clothing size I was.  I knew it because of the battle that raged in my heart.  I craved, I desired, I thought about and arranged my life around food.  Yet I was a bible teacher.  I was a woman who loved Jesus.  Why couldn't I figure this out?  I had found victory in so many areas of my life, but this area alluded me.  I constantly asked, "Why shouldn't I indulge?"

  One day I looked up the definition of the word INDULDGE, which means "unrestrained action".  And for me, it was unrestrained eating.  You see, eating in its proper context is not the problem.  God gave us food for nourishment, strength, and even celebration.  But when pleasure becomes unrestrained, theres a problem.

  I had to get honest enough to admit that I relied on food more than I relied on God.  Chocolate was my comfort and deliverer.  Cookies were my reward.  Salty chips were my joy.  Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness, and even in times of happiness. I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control.  Really surrender.  Surrender to the point where I'd make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.

  Part of my surrender was asking myself a different question, a really RAW question. May I ask you this same question?  Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?  Now before you delete this, hear me out.  This question is crucial.  We have to see the purpose of our struggle with food as something more than getting to wear smaller sizes and receiving compliments.  Shallow desires produce shallow efforts.  These good things are nice, but not as appealing in the moment as a cinnamon roll, or those chips, or tha brownie.  

  The process of getting healthy has to be about more than just losing weight and focusing on ourselves.  It's not about adjusting our dietsand hoping for good physical results.  Its about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change for the right reasons.  I've realized that a healthy eating plan can be one of the most significant spiritual journeys I'd ever dared to take with God. As you join me for the next 20 days, I hope you soon say the same thing. "

Been Awhile....I'm such a slacker

Well here  I am again, RE trying this whole blog thing and this whole healthy lifestyle thing.  I just know this is what I need to do and I know it's what God would want me to do.  So, my question is....WHY IS IT SO HARD?  I am glad I have this blog to write in, to keep me accountable to all you people and to help me to vent a little bit.  


 I recently made a trip to my old home town...and I got to meet up with a lot of old friends that I sure do miss!  The people I spent time with, motivated me to be something more than what I am right now.  If they can do it, then I Can do it too.  Her reasoning for losing weight, is a legit one.  She doesn't want to die at an early age like her mom...mine...Is the same.  My mom died when she was 48 years old, and she was a heavy set woman too.  I know it wasn't her weight that caused her to pass away, it was the cancer.  Being overweight or obese CAN lead to different kinds of cancers though, and I don't wanna go there.  That is my main motivation...another motivation is that I see overweight people who can hardly function.  Can hardly walk, can hardly breathe, sweat when they walk even a little distance...I just don't want to be like that.  I need to be what and who God has called me to be, and I don't think being unhealthy is what he has planned
.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity  


So, what I need from all my readers is some ideas for healthy choices of foods...different recipes and stuff.  How to avoid the late night eating, and such.  I think eating late at night is permissible IF you eat something light like a salad or some fruit or something like that.  I guess it has just been ingrained in me that FOOD helps me to fall asleep at night.  Well, that has GOT to change.  I am on this journey now, and I am gonna stick to it.  Just need you all to support me and pray for me....


  By the way, I had a wonderful birthday and I finally got a kindle! I think this will help me when I am exercising on the boring treadmill..cause I can read as  I walk!!! SO cool!! 

Crash and burn....blahhhhh :-(

Well, I guess I wouldn't go that over board as to say I have done horrible but I haven't done great either.  Monday night I did end up eating late, but I find that when I work late is when I eat late.  I don't know what it is about the night time and food because I can go practically all day without food and when night time comes it's like a magnet and the food is speaking to me saying "eat me"!  It is really a challenge to me...almost an addiction.  I was watching that show about hoarders on TLC the other night, and I know it has nothing to do with food but these people are addicted to collecting things..WHY?  To fill a void in their lives or to cope with something that has happened to them....the stuff the collect makes them feel at ease and "safe".  I was thinking, is that how food makes me feel?  Do I feel comfortable when I eat?  YES  Do I feel happy when I eat?  YES  Do I feel safe when I eat?  YES, do I feel the pangs of withdrawal and panic when I try to not eat when I want to?  YES!  


  This is the same with any addiction, I totally understand when people say they can't just "quit" smoking or drinking or whatever the addiction is that they have because it is just that!!! AN ADDICTION!  It's sad to say but food is the hardest addiction to overcome, because a person HAS to eat to survive and theres no way around that...cigarettes and alcohol can go on the back burner and a person would be fine and healthy....not the same with food! 


  Along with blogging I am also doing setting captives free...http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/  which approaches food from a Christian standpoint and helps you overcome your addiction with JESUS right by your side...unfortunately I have started this course before and have fallen away from it, but I keep going back!   I know the combination of that and the support I get from friends will help me on this journey, although not an easy one, but definitely one that can be accomplished...."I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me!"  

The First Hurdle

  Well, I created this blog for a reason...to be open and honest about myself and my struggles.  I don't know how many of you like to eat late at night?  I know I do! This is going to be my first goal, to STOP eating late at night. I tend to be a night person, and it makes me comfortable to sit down with a bowl of food late in the night and eat it.    I also find that it tends to help me fall asleep better!  So starting today, that is my first goal.  I will let you know how it worked out tomorrow.  Did you know that the night time is the time the body takes to "recoup" and thats the time that it burns the most calories?  

 http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/does-it-matter-how-late-we-eat/

Day one begins tomorrow...I think :-)

 
  Ok this is my first attempt at a blog, not sure how all this works so all you tech savy peeps out there would you please lend a girl a helping hand?  


  I am attempting a new journey in my life, really wanting to be healthier and just feel better about myself, and by healthier I don't mean as skinny as a tooth pick.  I simply mean, to eat as I should and treat my body as God would want me to.  This is something that God has been speaking to me for awhile about, but it is very hard for me.  I would appreciate any encouragement, helpful hints, anything you all can give me to set me on the right track.  I will warn you right now, I have a pity me button and it gets pushed a lot.  Don't be afraid to be a little "firm" with me to get me back to where I need to be.  The main thing I need to remember is that I am not doing this on my own, or for myself.  Being obedient to God is the number one key here, and I know that he is always with me.